24 October 2006

Not-so happy news.

Note: "San Dimas" is a code-name my sister and I use. It helps our privacy and his.

I have a great friend from high school, we've known each other now for what is it...13 years, I guess. Half-Castillian, uber-smart, full-ride to BYU and Georgetown? And not snobbish either. (Amazing, isn't it?) She works in the DA's office, and happens to work with "San Dimas" alot. (They are on a first name basis, she sees him at least weekly.) Anyway, she and I got to talking about stuff, and she said, "Hey, I'll look into you case for you if you want." I said sure.

San Dimas remembers the case, and told my friend that basically, it's been a long time, the accused can't be found for a statement, and so the DA has chosen not to prosecute or serve a warrant at this time. (This was what the screening deputies said to him.) If he's found, then they'll bring him in for questioning, and it'll go from there. So my friend is going to look through the file, see who the screening deputies were, and see if she can do anything that might help. (Gather more info or whatnot.) She's also going to offer to give a statement about what I disclosed to her in high school, which would further help with showing that this isn't one of those False Memory Syndrome things, where everything's fine, I see a shrink and all of a sudden I have an abuse history. She's not sure how much it'll help but...it's good to have a friend willing to try. I can't blame anyone, it's been 2 years after all. Sorry news couldn't be better.

So...bad news yes, but not unexpected. That's really a good portion of the reason for me not wanting to call San Dimas...so he wouldn't say, "Who are you? Oh yeah, we are so through with that case, sucks to be you." (But in nicer language of course.) And then I would cry or do something stupid and what would that solve? But yeah, in a way I felt it...it's been 2 years (as of last week) that I talked to him. They can't find my uncle, he prolly doesn't want to be found, if he's alive at all. I just feel alot of guilt for not saying something sooner. I guess let alot of people down. And in a way it's just as well; I was thinking last night that the original report I gave to the other detective (back at LVA) wasn't exactly accurate.

I didn't want to get into certain things and so it's not like I lied but I did skip over some things. And who knows, I don't remember half of that interview, maybe I did lie. (As in maybe I said something didn't happen when really, it did.) And if that's the case, do I really want to get in a court room where I'm told I'm making it up or have False Memory Syndrome? I don't know...it seemed like the right thing to do, and it still does of course, but I'm kind of wondering why God put that opportunity in my life (to make a 2nd statement) when nothing's to come of it. I really don't want to have to testify on behalf of a bunch of 4 year olds, years from now saying, "Yeah, he did that to me too, sorry I didn't tell sooner everyone."

Anyway, off my soapbox I go. Don't worry, it won't get me depressed, I haven't really acted on anything in 2 years. (I spent 2 weeks in Montevista then; it taught me stuff. Was a good thing.) It's sad and sucky and unfortunate, but there's really nothing I can do about it. Is it bad to want him to screw up royally so he's booked and someone makes the connection? I'm an awful person sometimes...

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