04 March 2008


Watching the BBC. I'm zoning a bit, waiting to finish up with dinner. Today was odd, I guess; I had to do all the layout for the sawcutters and such and I was stressed about getting it spot-on. Luckily, Jay told me that there's no way I can possibly screw it up irreparably, and that I'm really big-dealing it. We'll see. :)

I haven't slept well lately, my piercing has been giving me pain. The kind that makes me have to drool. I was able to start the salt-soaks, which helped immensely. Hoping the redness and swelling will diminish by the weekend, I've got much planned and I don't want to have to worry about it.

Missing Europe lately. And missing family there as well. I'm reminded of Uncle Welshie too...I haven't heard from him since 2006 and I have no way of contacting him other than via mail, to which he hasn't responded. He was getting on in years, about 70, and his health wasn't the best. I wish he'd been in London when we visited there, during our trip to France, Germany, and the British Isles. In a way it feels like a part of me is home there, in Europe, even though I'm sure it makes very little sense to many at all. (Must be the CCK in me!) But really: the history, the architecture...I don't know. My heart hurts for what I left there. Kandern, Lille, Edinburgh, Wolfsburg, London, Dublin, Paris, Berlin; some more than others of course, but there's tiny empty space inside me that can't be helped, really. I've gone into detail about it before, heritage and Before and all the rest of it. No reason for that now.

This post is kinda all over the place. Maybe I'll feel better after eating something. It's not that I feel icky just...not quite here.

1 comment:

Ayla said...

there's a reality i find to europe that is lacking in american culture that i miss so much sometimes it burns and hurts in my chest. i try to recreat it here but always fail. oh, what i wouldn't give to just be setting peacefully in a paris cafe eating some real food and hearing real people dicuss real issues....heaven