I almost cried.

I went to see my surgeon yesterday, for a follow-up. I was already in pain; I try not to take too many Lortab because I know it's addicting. So I take it as directed and if there's more pain, I take Aleve. It's not great but it's functional.

Dr. Liu told me that there's really no evidence that anything's wrong. My uterus is "swollen and bulky" which, he says, means there's likely blood clots or tumours or something in there, and he wants to put me on Lupron. For anyone who doesn't know, Lupron will halt all hormones in my body and thrust me viciously into menopause.

Yeah, I know it's temporary. It doesn't mean I have to like it. He just says it's the "next step", since he doesn't know what to do. Well here's a tip, doc: how about you order a trans-vaginal ultrasound, see what's in there (since that has already been established) and then take it out. Perform a D&C. Wouldn't that handle the problem a little better? I don't know what it is about these doctors that they want to just keep piling on more medication. I don't want to mask this problem, I want it taken care of.

And then I got a talking-to, about the Lortab, that I shouldn't be so dependent on it. I had to remind him that it's not like I'm sitting at a desk all day with pillows against my back and I have access to heating pads or anything. I'm out in the field, crawling through ceilings and crouching between walls, climbing ladders, hauling tools and equipment all over. He says "hopefully, your pain is hormone-related and the Lupron will handle it." But what if it isn't? How many more months of this do I have to take, being threatened with light duty, for it to be done with? I was so incredibly dissapointed. I mean, what's the point of paying more for a PPO insurance if I get the same shitty results?