In the midst of this:

Even in going to classes so often, and working odd hours and being exhausted, I'm still having a small amount of time for a weekly sabbatical, if you can call it that: on Thursdays I alternate Code study with just quiet moments to myself, at the library or bookstore or a coffee shop, whatever suits me at the time. (Unless I'm with others from school, then I'm usually at a bar.) I'm trying to get all my NEC knowledge straight for the county journeyman exam coming up and I'll be honest: if I'm at home with my Code book, I won't go through it. I'll watch Dae Jo Yeong or an HD-DVD or Tannah and I will go out somewhere. I know myself too well, I'll put it off. I always do.

But going somewhere quiet for Code, and then being relaxed enough to get a latte or peruse a book (I haven't read for pleasure in ages)...it's a very good thing. It's actually gotten down to the point that i keep a few books in my backpack just so I've got something to break away with when all the Code sections start to run together. It helps me alot, actually: to relax, to feel grounded...even though it's only a few hours a week, it's me being able to be away, something I so rarely get to do. And really, it gives Tannah time for himself as well, time to work on his arcade machines or one of his articles. It keeps the marriage fresh, in a way.

Wanting.

I'm suddenly very very much wanting more info on my German heritage. It just sucks that I can't find anything online and really have no way of finding out. I guess I'll have to go to the German Deli for weinsauerkraut and Haribo and such.

So, our extra labs are starting. Low voltage tomorrow and Wednesday. Then labs up through and including Veteran's Day and Thanksgiving week, which sucks, those are scheduled days off. (I suppose they aren't anymore, but I was looking forward to two weeks off school.) So basically we're going to be about two months behind in everything. I'm starting to stress a little.

Next Saturday I signed up to volunteer to put up Christmas lights at Child Haven. Snow was doing the recruiting and I couldn't say no when he showed me the list and only a dozen committed. Sad. I mean really: a few hours out of my day, what is that? It's worth it for kids, especially kids who have to live there.

Tired and...whatever.

I got pneumonia from breathing Monokote at work. (Monokote is a powder that reacts to moisture to make it harden as fire protection on structural beams so if there's a fire, the building won't collapse like the WTC.) Well, when you breathe it, there's moisture in your lungs so you get really sick. It was really bad. I haven't gotten that sick from Monokote since I was at the Wynn. I wonder if all that infection and crap helped get me sick.

I'm feeling like God isn't providing...not to say things are bad, they aren't. Just I'm feeling a void. I am having not really a faith crisis but a shift in belief maybe? Not sure how I feel about it. I can always pray for discernment and understanding, I gues. It's not that I don't believe in God, just...I don't know. Something feels off.

I saw my cousin's Xanga post on her favourite Anglo Saxon names....I like Welsh names, like Blodwyn and Ieuan....my general foreman's name is Welsh too, and I think it's awesome. I'm not sure why, but Welsh names sound magickal to me. Ancient and steeped in tradition.

My birthday was good, hadn't seen my family in so long and it was nice to see them. Got Robot Chicken DVD! I just discovered Robot Chicken like two weeks ago, so it was really great. (Also, back closer to my actual birthday, Marissa and Matt teamed up with Tannah and surprised me with a birthday dinner and my favourite German beerhall. :) I love giant bretzels...)

Foreman's class is a joke.

Yeah, it's been awhile, I know.

On our first night we had some general foremen from Mojave telling us what bad union members we all were for not wanting to be foremen. Honestly, very few of us would be ready for the responsibility only a month and a half into our fifth year. We are apparently the reason that our local is going to shit. I kinda tuned them out.

The rest of the presentations were just a complete waste, except the one by Jason Bosnos. He's a project manager from Bombard, and his presentation was on looking at prints and from that deciding how much time the project will take, what needs to be ordered, note possible obstructions and delays...I wish more classes like that were available. I learned so much.

The rest, however, were...I'm sure one day they might seem relevant to me but it sounded like bullshit, really. Oh and yeah, my job still sucks ass right now. Thank God I like my general foreman and my foreman. And thank God I'm getting help in studying Code.

And yay! My birthday celebration is this weekend!