Worn down.

I have been having chest pain off and on for over a year. ER docs dismiss it. Most tests show up negative. But I had that stroke in April and they found a patent foramen ovale, and the director of the stroke center said I needed to see a cardiologist about these pains, as they could be clots passing through that hole.

So I went.

The cardiologist didn't run any tests or draw any blood. He said I can't take the word of the hospital about my irregular heartbeat since all hearts beat differently, and so all are technically irregular. He also said since the director of the stroke center diagnosed my PFO, he's sure it's tiny since it wasn't a cardiologist who diagnosed it, and neurologists just wouldn't know any better. And that the EMT's who said my symptoms sounded like a blockage were obviously wrong, because EMT's are poorly trained and one can't expect much from them. So once he found out I worked construction, he decided I tore a muscle. He saw some scarring on my wrists for my childhood and tried turning my chest pain into a "cry for help". Plus, he wants me off the Coumadin, so he's calling my hemo to discuss that. My hemo made it clear that he doesn't like me on it either so I'm sure that's a done deal.

He swears the little umbrella or plug or whatever will "cure" everything. Except the director of the stroke center said blood thinners are necessary too, not just the procedure. Part of me wants to say fuck it and just quit seeing docs altogether. But I know I'm too stubborn for that, and I'll keep searching. It can just be so frustrating and overwhelming. Seriously I wanted to cry.