20 May 2008
No point really explaining since I barely understand it myself, and never fully...one of those moments when my mind is everywhere and nowhere, singing "Boomdeyada" to myself and writing nonsensical emails. Silliness! Doc appointments coming up, I hate them always, i keep going through cycles of going like I should, then I decide I don't really need meds or check-ups or anything, and I skip everything, then I get hellaciously ill and have to spend a few days inpatient at Sunrise. But seriously, I hate it, I hate when I'm told I should just give up and go on disability and I hate when they tell me I don't "look" sick, and on and on...
[i love the whole world, its such a brilliant place]
I need to sleep. I need to meditate maybe. I need my calming oil. Tenno, how much is it?
I'm in a weird place: I'm not happy but I laugh easily. I feel alone but I'm surrounded by those who care about me. I'm sensitive but I can take alot of shit.
Gonna get "Tom's Rules" tattoo'd on my neck. Aw yeah.
Maybe I'll read my ISES Solar Power Pocket Reference Guide. Y'know what's funny? I love PV, I'm so excited by it, and yet I will fall asleep every time I get into heavy studying. Ironic. Haha.